When Polyamory Turns Into A Tsunami

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We were in Hawaii, on the Big Island traveling along the edge of the world. The ocean was swaying back and forth, up and down, the sky was dark and sad, wind curling my hair around my chilled face. Our house was one of those beautiful cliff houses that depends on stilts to keep it upright and we were worried about the storm brewing behind it. Our neighbors were gathering together to enjoy the chaos in the sky around a fire and roasting marshmallows. Bryan and I are sitting quietly when a man came up and asked to talk to me. It is a man I dated ten years ago, his name is Chris. He was crying and begging me to explain to him why I left him and that none of it made sense. Why was he so concerned about something that happened ten years ago? Why does it need to make sense today? We walk  away from the crowd and he held my face in his hands and kissed me. I look back concerned about Bryan who was watching with worry. He stands up and walks slowly over to us to see what was going on. My heart sinks.

 

“I’m sorry Chris! I am in love with Bryan, we’ve been married for six years. I am so sorry I hurt you.” He sobs and kisses me again begging for an explanation, wanting to know what happened to us. I explained to him that a long distance relationship wasn’t something I could maintain and that I fell in love with someone else. I started to feel things, I wanted to comfort him and be with him, make it all go away. I turn to Bryan and ask him to allow Chris into our relationship, let him be a part of us because I still had feelings for him. He hesitates but starts to consider it.

 

I look into the horizon and a wall of water stands so tall above us and starts falling down, the only thing that truly matters is surviving now.

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** Note**

This dream was a trip!  I haven’t thought about Chris in a long time! We’re both married with kids and haven’t spoken in years! It was nice to see him, but I wish it was a different dream… Like crowd surfing together or wrestling alligators or something. I know why I was dreaming of polyamory though, I had been talking about it the other day with a friend and I guess it stuck!

I semi-often dream of walls of water that are about to break.

Hawaii is a common place for my dreams

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