Body Suspension, Pink Cats & The Wardrobe

Location: Highschool (but located in the SE part of Portland)

People: Everyone I know

I was in the auditorium getting prepared to present my project on art. There were no specifics, we just had to pick a form of art and present it on power point. Everyone on my cheerleading team was in this class, friends from high school, USAF class mates from tech school and old coworkers from an ambulance company I worked at. My project was focused on the progression of children’s art (my daughter the focus). I get to school, ready for my presentation and a friend named LaMotte comes up to me frantic, begging for copies of my work so she had something to present. She promised that it would be used for a different topic, so being the stupid nice person I have the potential to be, I scanned it to her. Another friend named Carpenter had the same issue so I helped her out. I was curious because typically you can’t have LaMotte without Carpenter which made me wonder what they have been up to.

I stopped caring. It was time to sit down and watch everybody’s work. I look over at the teacher/judge and it was Donald Trump. Great. The president was judging… the JUDGIEST president was judging and here I am presenting children’s art next to Little Bird, a real artist….. FML

((I would insert a picture here of our president…. but I can’t find one I want on my blog, so here is a cat riding a poptart over a rainbow by Olga Schvartsur))


Anderson prepares his show, lights are down, Power Point is on. The photos are black and white. It is him from the neck down completely nude. This very clean, professional, nice, respectful and respected man was covered neck to ankle in tattoos and piercings. What a surprise! He had amazing art on him! A cartoon whale from Sponge Bob wearing an apron that says “Wife” on it stuck out like a sore thumb, I looked over at his wife and she beamed with pride.


He changes focus to the six rings going down his front and I realized that they were rings for body suspension. The camera goes further down and he shows his extremely pierced penis. It had skin tags and protruding moles on it. He holds his breath and bears down and it inflates the nodules like balloons. He makes them dance. Show is over.



Next up: Me. I set up Liliana’s art in chronological order from toddler-hood to age 12. From finger painting to beautiful manga. Trump calls the end of the presentation before I get to start. I pack my bag, grab a pink long haired cat and head out to the bus with Little Bird, LaMotte and Carpenter. The bus starts moving over the bridge and just before we reach the other side of the Willamette River, it stops. A Trimet security employee demands to see everyone’s bus ticket. I move the cat to one arm and find a tag in my pocket, it was trash one of the kids gave me. Crap! No ticket! It must be in my bag! CRAP! My bag was left behind! The security guy comes and asks for my ticket and I explain that I left it in a bag, but I can pay my fine. He declined and said that I would be punished like everyone else. I look behind me and they are all falling on their butts, laying back on their backs, pulling their legs over their heads and rolling back up to their feet to stand.

“I can’t do that Sir, can I please do burpees instead?”

“No, that is not the punishment”

“Well, if you are prepared to see my blood covered maxi pad when my skirt flips over my head, then fine.”

“We will figure something out.” With this response I decided that this was no good. I gotta get the fuck out of here. I look at the door and see my friend Babs heading out the door and I decide to follow her. The cat and I end up underneath the bridge and I see Babs is already on the other side of the water. How did she get there without swimming?? I look at the water and there are alligators (with ant eater noses) coming towards me. I freak out, let my pink kitty free and jump into the water swimming as fast as I can to the other side. I get there unscathed but stuck. There are three doors, I rattle all of them and they won’t open; how did Babs get out of here? I noticed a window was slightly ajar and decided to go through it. The Trimet guy is on to me and I rush through. It was real important that I get that window locked behind me and it took a lot of time, but I made it.

I ended up on the top floor of my grandmother’s house in Beaverton, the new owners had added multiple floors since my family moved out and I had the hardest time navigating the layout. I couldn’t get out of the house undetected but I had to be discreet because I was not invited in.

I woke up.

**The people in this dream are real people, if you think it is you, then it probably is. If you would like me to change the name because this is not discreet enough, please let me know.**

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